I can of course only speak for myself, but I strongly doubt I am the only one starting to feel their nerves this week. In two days, Kristina från Duvemåla opens in Sundsvall – almost exactly 30 years after its original production premiered in Malmö.
We begun rehearsing with the Nordic Chamber Orchestra last week, after working with accompanists for the lion’s share of the rehearsal perioud. Primarily we rehearsed with Mona Kontra, the orchestra’s own pianist, but also a few freelancers, including Tobias Livheim who was a lovely new acquaintance as well as a mutual friend of Henrik Berg, the wonderful pianist (or ”pianorganist”) with whom I have worked with several times in the past.
The readthrough on August 18th feels like it was much farther back than only eight and a half weeks ago. It has been an exciting, nerve-racking, intense and joyful period – both in turn and sometimes all at once.
Last winter, when I was approached about a position in the chorus, I was initially hesitant to accept. Primarily, I worried that joining the production would mean having to set my composition work aside for most of the production period. That is indeed proving to be true, but working with Kristina is also proving to be not just a thrilling experience but also quite a valuable one.
The Loving Mother was far from a mere one-off; I very much want to keep writing opera, and possibly also musical theatre, so getting this kind of proper hands-on experience, as well as the deep behind-the-scenes perspective that comes with it, is very useful.
Although it may be a thrilling and rewarding job, it is still very much a job and not always an easy one. The hours are odd and regularly late. Even when it is not physically challenging – which it can still be – it is nonetheless a kind of intellectual marathon to remember every cue, every connection, every contract with the others in the ensemble. And, importantly, to make totally invisible to the audience all of the choreography and direction.
It is not for the faint of heart.
I must confess that I felt discouraged several times in the first couple of weeks. Coming from the regulable pacing of composition and arranging work in an office, or even the comparably focussed task of being a concert soloist, being thrust into the comparably breakneck workday of a musical actor came as a shock.
It is kind of like how I knew on an intellectual level that owning a house would include a tremendous amount of work that would be entirely new to me, but how I could not truly understand what that meant until I was in the thick of it, so to say. Only after having moved in and started on the various renovations needed did I begun to understand what owning and taking care of a house would require of me.
Similarly, while I was fully aware of my lack of recent experience acting on stage (last time I did that was when I studied at college!), I could not understand what that would mean in practice until I was there rehearsing in the black box, trying to memorise the director’s instructions without forgetting the conductor’s.
While knowing is indeed half the battle, it is still only half – if that.
I started taking rigorous notes either on my phone or a small legal pad that quickly found a home in my back pocket. The same pen that usually rests behind my ear during music rehearsals had to sit somewhere else now that we were moving around so much. Because I was a slow learner, I had to make sure I could practice a lot on my own.
Looking back on these past weeks, it was a valuable humbling experience as well. Learning music usually comes very easy to me. Most of the time, I don’t need to take many notes when learning or practicing. I have decades of practical and academic experience and knowledge to rest on, as well as probably an innate affinity for it. This job, on the other hand, threw me far out of my comfort zone. Gradually, though, through hard and diligent work, I have clawed my way back inside, probably expanding its borders a bit in the process.
Two days ago, we had our first rehearsal in front of an audience. In my opinion, coming from mostly only concert performances, the difference between simply singing/acting out into the auditorium and singing/acting to an audience was even more pronounced in this situation.
Reports in both local and national news are also picking up as the premiere approaches. The local branch of the Swedish public service company, SVT, visited the set earlier this week and interviewed Tuva B. Larsen, who plays Kristina, and the director, Melker Sörensen. If you look closely at the video montage, you’ll even spot me in there.
Tonight is our second audience rehearsal, and the dress rehearsal is tomorrow night.
Saturday is opening night.
And on Sunday, I will rest.